Another Day at Kaiba Corp
by Reecey-Boy
Summary: Welcome to Kaiba Corp., please enjoy your time here. Rated for language and themes of an adult nature, romance now added! Yaoi, you no like, go away.
1. The R&D department

Reecey-Boy: Hello! And welcome to Kaiba Corp. myself and the amazing Reecey-Girl will be taking you on a tour of this fine establishment.

Reecey-Girl: This has been entirely co-authored and we're loving it. Enjoy the Anzu bashing because it's funny.

Reecey-Boy: Now, who should do the disclaimer? .:strokes imaginary beard:.

Reecey-Girl: Whoever.

Reecey-Boy: Wow, that's helpful. Ok, I'll do it then. We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! You can tell, because if we did there would be blatant yaoi and Bakura would have more air time. We love the crazy evil guy!

.:Reecey-Boy and Reecey-Girl glomp Bakura:.

Bakura: Ack!

**Another Day at Kaiba Corp.**

**Chapter One: The R&D Department**

"Ok people, we need new ideas on how to play Duel Monsters."

At the bi-monthly meetings the R&D department discuss and design new products. This month was the ever present challenge of revamping the Duel Disc system.

"Jeff, any ideas?" asked the head of department, David 'call me Dave' Smith. (Although why Kaiba employed a man like that in the first place, I'm not entirely sure.)

This inspired a flurry of suggestions…

"Duel Golf!"

"The Duel Boomerang."

"Duel Text Messaging."

"Duel Swivel Chair!"

"Duel Sky Diving!"

"Duel Trampoline!"

"Duel Daggers," stated a low and menacing voice. The head of department raised an eyebrow. "What! You throw them at your opponent and the monster attacks them!" Dave threw a concerned glance at the speaker. Long white hair and an evil smirk betrayed it to be Bakura.

"Hey, you don't work here!" he chided, "The Human Resources department is on the next floor down." (AN: O.O)

Then the best ideas are chosen and prototype models are made. As the entire staff of the R&D department are certified geniuses, this doesn't take very long.

Later that day…

"So you see Sir, we in the R&D department have new, innovative ideas and designs. And we take great pleasure in showing them to you," introduced Dave with a wink.

Kaiba looked unimpressed, "Get on with it then, or do you not value your job?"

"Of c-course Sir," even the most stalwart or cheerful of men falter under that glare.

The games testers proceeded to show the new products. Needless to say, Duel Daggers did not go down well and involved a trip to the company infirmary. They proceeded to move onto the Duel Boomerang.

"So you see, you just throw it and the kinetic energy powers the holograms," explained Dave. The tester threw it.

Three minutes later and it still hadn't come back.

"Aww," said the tester, "my boomerang won't come back!" He sighed and started to demonstrate the Duel Golf system. However, as the universal laws of comedic timing dictate, at that moment it decided to return and promptly knock the unfortunate man out.

Kaiba stood from his chair flanked by Dobermans and walked over to the unconscious games tester. He picked up the boomerang, looked at it and then looked pointedly at Dave.

"A bit of a three o'clock in the morning decision was it?" he asked raising one perfectly groomed eyebrow. Dave shook his head.

"Oh No Sir, you'll see that in a bit. I now introduce our next idea… Duel Swivel Chairs."

Kaiba watched everyone who knew try to innocuously retreat to the edges of the test room as two seemingly innocent high-backed leather office chairs were wheeled into the centre of the room. After five minutes of listening to shouting, screaming and what sounded like a full blown wrestling match, two terrified product testers were thrown out of their dressing room. One attempted to hide in his own shoes, and the other was eyeing the window as if he would rather jump out of it than do the presentation.

The basic idea behind Duel Swivel Chairs was that you had to keep spinning to gain the kinetic energy needed to power the holograms. Not only that, but as your life points were depleted the chairs reclined further and further back. The rules were as thus; as well as the standard 'lose all your life points and you're out' ones, the first one who fell out or threw up lost.

The duel went well, with the one tester leading by a good margin. Kaiba watched with interest as the one who almost jumped out of the window's life points got lower and lower, his chair went further and further back. He seemed to be holding up to the physical torment well. At least until he flew out of the chair, spun around a few times, collapsed at Kaiba's feet and threw up all over his shoes.

Kaiba snapped his fingers and a flurry of people came in and changed not only his shoes, but his entire outfit, literally in the blink of an eye.

"You," stated Kaiba menacingly, "go to Employee Care."

"NOOOO!" two hired goons dragged the unfortunate games tester off to his doom.

**: At Employee Care : **

The poor man was unceremoniously tossed into an office. He scrambled towards the door and beat on it in vain.

"Please! Let me out! I'll do whatever you want," he pleaded, almost crying. Then, he heard the most terrifying noise.

The sound of somebody getting up from a squeaky chair. He turned around with wide terror filled eyes.

"Hello!" said Anzu, smiling brightly, "I hope we can friends…" the cheerful smile was quickly replaced by one a lot more menacing. "Are you alright? You look a little… unwell."

A blood curdling scream was heard throughout the entire business district of Domino.

**: At the meeting… :**

"Ok," said Dave, "that didn't go quite as well as planned. But onwards!" Kaiba looked… I would say worried, but Kaiba never looks worried. So he settled for looking incredulous.

"Duel Sky Diving!" exclaimed Dave excitedly, "now, we don't have enough room here. But we do have a video link prepared- "

Kaiba raised a hand to stop him.

"No, I don't even want to know," he said, fighting off an approaching headache. Dave looked a little disappointed, but decided to change the subject.

"Now for our last idea. You'll have to forgive him Sir, he's new," he motioned to Nigel, "go on then."

The new guy cleared his throat and presented his idea.

"I revamped the Duel Disc and added an MP3 player to it." The look on Kaiba's face was priceless. "This will make it more desirable and, therefore, increase our revenue."

Dave shook his head and said to Kaiba, "you know, graduates. With their crazy ideas. I told him there was no point to bringing it to this meeting, but did he listen? No."

Kaiba looked at Nigel in amazement.

"What else did you do to it?"

"Well, I added speakers. So during a duel you can play the epic music of your choice. This means you no longer need your twenty piece marching band."

"Fuck it!" exclaimed the horseback kettle drum player, "we're out of a job boys!"

_Wahh-wahh-wah-waaah! _Played the trombone player as they left with downcast expressions on their faces.

**: End chapter :**

Join us next time as we continue our journey through the many and varied facets of Kaiba Corp. and tackle the world of Public Relations!

Reecey-Boy: Wow, that went well. Could barely type for laughing. Although… I do worry about Kaiba's employment policy.

Reecey-Girl: chuckles Now review, or we will set Employee Care on you! Bwahahahahahaha!


	2. The PR department

Reecey-Boy: Well it's that time again! We have successfully written a new chapter.

Wufie-the-backside-slayer: This is really funny

Reecey-Girl: Who are you?

Reecey-Boy: That's Jess

Reecey-Girl: Oh, carry on then

Reecey-Boy: .:sweatdrops:. Could you do the honours?

Wufie-the-backside-slayer: These two do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if they did you wouldn't be able to show it before the watershed.

Reecey-Boy: Oh, one more thing before we start. **There will be yaoi in this from now on. If you don't like, don't read.** We may need to up the rating later on. To the story!

**Another Day at Kaiba Corp.**

**Chapter Two: The PR department**

"And I assure you, that blood curdling scream heard in the business sector had nothing to do with Kaiba corp."

The flashing of the cameras continued and a few journalists wrote down the Kaiba Corp. representative's words.

"But Mr. Bakura, what about these reports we have about people entering the Employee Care department of the organisation and never returning?" asked a particularly intrepid reporter.

"Nothing but baseless rumours," declared the white haired man, "now, are there any other questions before we end the press conference?"

Suddenly, one of the camera-men collapsed. The laptop that had just landed on him had _nothing_ to do with it, really!

A head poked out of a window fifty floors up, "oh… HEADS UP!"

The assembled reporters looked blankly at the representative.

"This press conference is over!" exclaimed the harassed man.

He hurried back into the building pulling off his tie and undoing the top few buttons of his shirt (AN: this is purely for my benefit), strolling into the lift and thinking only of how pissed off he was at his yami.

As the lift rose to the thirty second floor, several fan girls and boys entered and exited the lift. Ryou nearly slipped on the drool when he proceeded to his office.

The glass doors slid open to reveal the PR department, which as ever, thanks to our favourite white haired yami, was a scene of complete chaos. Ryou sighed and walked to his desk. He sat and listened to his colleagues do their jobs.

"No sir, Kaiba Corp. is not in league with the alien hordes. We are business with the demonic ones."

"I assure you, despite the fact that you have proof that he has been seen in gay clubs dancing around in a tutu singing 'YMCA', Seto Kaiba is not gay. And if you insinuate any further that he is, we will be setting the entire legal team on your organisation."

"Please do not confuse Ryou Bakura with," the young woman at the desk opposite stopped talking and looked at Ryou.

"What _is_ Bakura's first name?"

"Bakura is his first name."

"Then what's his last name?" Ryou looked blank for a moment before shrugging.

She sighed before continuing her phone conversation, "Bakura, no I don't know what his last name is. I don't think he even he has one."

"I told you, for the last time, we do not want double glazing!"

"I'm wearing a navy blue suit with a white shirt and a tie with Donald Duck on, why do you ask?"

Ryou's phone rang.

Over the line came Kaiba's voice.

"I heard about the press conference." Ryou gulped. "I want your opinion on what happened."

Ryou blinked for a moment, he remembered that Kaiba had the ultimate power to send people to Anzu and, therefore, was to be more feared than the monster herself.

"It didn't go quite as planned," he squeaked. He could almost hear the glare he was sure his employer was wearing at that moment.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again, get that yami of yours under control," stated Kaiba in a voice suggesting dark rooms and friendship speeches.

Again, Ryou swallowed (AN: not like that! If you weren't thinking it, you are now! .), "What made you think Bakura had anything to do with it?" he warbled cautiously.

"Please," sneered Kaiba over the phone, "this mess has Bakura written all over it. In fact," he continued, "that laptop had Bakura written all over it."

Ryou threw his mind back to Bakura's laptop, it had tipp-ex on the screen and there was writing over the tipp-ex. He winced, he loved the crazy thief to death but it didn't stop him from being an idiot.

"Yes Sir, I'll talk to him about it right now."

"Good," replied Kaiba putting the phone down.

Ryou looked at the receiver in his hand and said in a hurt sounding voice, "does nobody say goodbye anymore?"

A short time later…

"Look, Bakura, you have to stop throwing things out of fiftieth storey windows! They keep landing on people and it's giving the company a bad name!"

Bakura looked amused, "Why should I stop? It's so much fun."

Ryou's left eye twitched.

"That's it! No more sex for a month!" he yelled.

Bakura looked momentarily stunned before putting on a puppy dog look learned from none other than Mokuba Kaiba. Ryou's resolve faltered instantly.

"Okay, two weeks then." The look continued. "Three hours."

Bakura's bottom lip trembled.

"Alright then, now," said the hikari as he dragged his dark to the stationary cupboard. Bakura just smiled manically.

**:End Chapter:**

Join us next time as we enter the strange and dangerous world of the cafeteria.

Reecey-Girl: Well that was fun. I can guarantee a lot more slapstick next time.

Kaiba: How dare you insinuate that I'm gay.

.:Reecey-Boy and Reecey-Girl look at each other:.

Reecey-Girl: Because it's so obvious? But we love you anyway!

.:Kaiba gets glomped:.

Wufie-the-backside-slayer: .:sweatdrops:. I worry about those two sometimes… Anyway! Review or else? Seriously, can't you two come up with anything better than that?


End file.
